There is no one single piece of advice, such as Dr. Phil gives in the linked article, or which you seem to imply there is. You're a bit pompous to suggest that anyone who veers from your philosophy even a tiny bit is a "dog in heat". It undermines your credibility entirely and makes you sound like a prude. The vast majority of men have viewed porn, and it's not abnormal or unhealthy for many of them.
And Dr. Phil is indeed a bit of a sexist when he laments that the women in porn are someone's daughter, while saying nothing about the men in porn. Women are helpless victims, too stupid to realize when they're being "used", unlike men, who are always intelligent and conniving in the porn world. And according to Dr. Phil, presumably, this would even apply to porn made by women for women. Even when women are making money on their own porn and selling it to women, somehow they're all abusing themselves, I suppose. But the handsome men starring in those porn videos for the enjoyment of women are, of course, not "someone's son".
Just a bit of hypocrisy on the part of Dr. Phil, to say the least. It's a little ironic to talk about the "intellectual force of arguments" when you lead with "Actually, he is very much a prude," shortly followed by gems like "Actually, it's not uncommon," and "utter nonsense.
But then, maybe I'm "actually" wrong. Also, you attributed Dr. Phil's opinion to "prudishness" whereas Anna countered with "care for his wife" and some sort of morality, for which at least some semblance of evidence exists. This argues against calling Dr. Phil a prude, and in no way suggests that you said he didn't care for his wife. Unfailingly ironic, it was you who set up the straw man here. For the record, I think that calling whatever hurts a partner's feelings "cheating" is ridiculous. To begin with, I think that both partners should at least be privy to the rules if there are going to be accusations.
Feelings can be "valid" without constituting accusations or implying fault. The appropriate response would be a conversation, ideally in good faith. As for the dog thing, I'd imagine we both feel hunger, cold, etcetera pretty much the same way. I'm not exactly ashamed of that either. Plus, the very fact that dogs have to be in heat to even want sex makes me doubt they're a good comparison to begin with.
Maybe not, but if you had bothered to actually explore the comments that Dr. Phil actually made, rather than simply commenting on my style, than you might have actual material and logic for an argument yourself. So far, you don't. As for those gems, it's really not hard to find evidence of couples enjoying porn.
And I stand by my comment that characterizing the article as a "dog in heat" is utter nonsense, even if you don't find it compelling at all. Actually, it's not quite a strawman if you can read with comprehension. By juxtaposition, she strongly implied as an argument that Dr.
I should perhaps have been more accurate in countering that it is possible for him to be caring for his wife, yet be a prude. And I think many people would agree with my opinion if they read the article linked in the article above. Again, if you had actually bothered to read the article about Dr.
Phil, it quotes him as saying that watching porn is "not OK behavior", apparently under any circumstances, and that it's insult, disloyal and it is cheating. He also says, again without qualification, that it's exploitative, which in the broadest sense to cover all porn, which is quite a stretch. He apparently missed that there is porn made for women by women, there is porn that is deliberately made to be ehtical, and their is porn that is made to be both educational and ethical Cindy Gallop and there is lots of porn that is uploaded by volunteers, etc.
And he says it "opens the door for cheating". Well, perhaps, just like flirting with the person at work could "open the door", or just talking to your neighbor could "open the door". But in fact, I know several middle-age men whose wives lost all interest in sex when they hit menopause, which is very common, and they turned to porn INSTEAD of cheating, and their wives apparently would prefer that they watch some porn to "get it out of their system" rather than having an affair or chasing them around the house pestering them for sex every day yes, "pestering me for sex all the time" was a phrase a friend told me his wife actually said, and he watches porn instead now and she doesn't mind one bit.
Saying one didn't say something is often not a literal statement. It's more of a statement that one didn't mean that by reminding them that they are pulling a strawman. I think you're several levels deep into strawmen here! And, in fact, again, if you read Ana's first sentences, it does in fact imply exactly what you suggest was not the implication, unless your only point was that I never actually said it, which I already know.
Exactly, I agree. And if you had read the article linked above, you would see that Dr. Phil did NOT suggest such a good communication, but instead just said all porn is cheating, period. Apparently you failed to read the article about Dr. Phil, so you came up with yet another strawman yourself, or "jumped the gun". Ana, you're showing some ignorance here. A lot of men don't need to have it be a scene of "virtual intimate situation". Many men can be turned on just seeing a hot woman in jeans in a movie, or a scene in a James Bond movie with a woman in a bikini -- nothing having to do with an intimate scene.
According to your reasoning, that is cheating. In that case, the vast majority of men have cheated. That's why your position is prudish. It views it only from a woman's point of view, and a rather insecure woman in my opinion. My wife is perfectly fine with me looking at the Playboy channel, and in fact she's even bought me Sports Illustrated swimsuit posters.
The only thing she said, with a laugh, was, just don't put the poster up in our bedroom. She knows I'm not so immature to get "hooked" on the poster and not desire my wife for the real thing. Likewise, I'm fine with her noticing handsome men. I'm not stupid enough to think that she thinks I'm the only attractive guy in the world.
I think it's foolish to pretend that your spouse has eyes ONLY for you. That's just a make-believe fantasy. My wife and I are not into pretending that. We accept each other as sexual people who appreciate the opposite sex, at least from a distance, while reserving real intimacy for just each other.
Ana, I get it. You get it. Phil gets it. Don't let those calling you and Dr. Phil, a prude get you down. This David J. Ley PHD is but one voice out of many other highly qualified, highly educated experts on the subject, who do not agree with him, be they, "religious prudes," or atheists. It appears evident that he has a specific view, in keeping with other experts, but not in keeping with many other, "experts.
Just sign me, "Fellow Prude. Another unrealistic aspect of your statement is that its premise is apparently that any and all wives are cauldrons of sexuality just waiting for their husbands to focus on them and have sex with them. For many middle age couples, nothing could be further from the truth.
As you may know, many women nearing menopause experience a serious drop in libido, and many of those women are annoyed with Viagra and how it makes their husbands want to have lots of sex again. Many of these women are essentially "done" with sex, as one of my middle-age male friends told me his wife told him. In many cases, these wives actually PREFER that their husbands watch porn and get their "relief" over with by themselves, rather than going out and having sex in an affair, or pestering them for sex at home all day long. Porn has many different uses for different people.
Your sweeping generalization and puritanical moralizing is shortsighted and is based on an unrealistic premise, namely, that all wives are just hungry for their husbands' sexual attention and actual frequent sex. I can assure you that is most certainly NOT the case, as any sex therapist will tell you based on the clients that fill their offices. That doesn't necessarily justify porn in every way, but many wives do IN FACT prefer their husbands to view porn compared to ALL the other alternatives, save being completely celibate and not even masturbating. Pardon me for dropping this here, I see this platform as a medium and opportunity to clapback at some fellas that took sides during a crossroad moment in my life.
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Is is cheating or does it lead to cheating, not sure as many probably cheat regardless or whether they watch porn or not. Saying you want to be in those situations is ridiculous, its fantasy at best, just like action movies. If you have a personal fantasy while you are masturbating, is that cheating too,. I see cheating is cheating. Setting up the meeting with someone other than your partner with the intention of getting physical with them. David J. Ley, Ph. New research finds that frustration tolerance explains video gaming problems.
Despite reams of empirical evidence, therapists cling to arrogant fiction. It might actually be some anti-porn activists who hate women.